Given the fact that I was barely a ‘legal’ adult when I gave birth to my oldest son, you could say I didn’t have many expectations because I had NO clue what I was doing! I have to say that sometimes ignorance is bliss… especially when you don’t know that stretch marks and big thighs don’t happen to every pregnant lady. To you mom’s who dodged the marks and dimples, you go girl! And to you mom’s who earned your stripes, cheers! You may see a trend of my Sunday Seven posts being about motherhood since Mothers Day is right around the corner, yay! This week I’m sharing 7 Things I didn’t Expect Becoming a Mom… and stretch marks are not included!
I didn’t expect:
- that my life would change forever– Like I said, ignorance is bliss when your 18, and I really had no idea how much my life was about to change. I would never ever be the same and I would never ever go to bathroom alone again 😉 I remember my life being so focused around Austin and my mother in law reminding me that it’s ok to do the things I love, but I also realized some of the things I loved changed and my interests became very different after I became a mom.
- that I could love someone THAT much- It’s truly indescribable the feeling of becoming a mother. All of those silly cares of the world went right out the window and all I could care about at that moment was my precious baby. Even being so young and not knowing what the heck I was doing, there was no denying the love I had for my child. And when I was pregnant with my second, I honestly didn’t think I could love another baby as much as I loved Austin. My mother in law said I’d be amazed at how much my heart would grow, she was right!
- that postpartum is REAL and would affect me– I have to say, I feel like postpartum depression is not talked about enough. I didn’t hear much about it when I was pregnant with Austin or EllaBleu and I didn’t really experience it until I had Hudson 10+ years later. I remember I was a little emotional after I had Austin but I really felt back to normal fairly quickly, and he was the EASIEST baby, thank you Jesus! EllaBleu was not, but I was so excited to have a baby girl and I was so busy with two small children that I didn’t even have time to think about how I felt. Annnnd…. then came Hudson. Even though I was ecstatic to have another baby, at times I felt so lost. My pregnancy was beautiful, but not enjoyable if that makes any sense. My belly was huge, I was constantly in pain, I went from being in the best shape of my life to being big and VERY pregnant, so many insecurities form my past and previous marriage came up and it took everything in me to keep a smile on my face. After Hudson was born all I wanted to do was be home with my baby. I stopped seeing my friends, I forgot what I use to do before I had him, I forgot what I liked and who I really was. My hormones were crazy and it took about 4 months to get it all figured out. I started working out again began seeing this woman who helped me with some supplements and I felt seriously 1,000,000 times better literally with in a few days, thank GOD! Postpartum depression is real and I encourage everyone to seek help as soon as possible if they’re struggling
- that sweating the small stuff would be a waste of time– I don’t think I was a helicopter mom with Austin or EllaBleu (probably because I was barely old enough to have a child!) but I’m kinda one now! I still worry about some small things but there’s also a ton I don’t worry about anymore; like throwing fits in the store (which use to be horrifying), Hudson throwing out a bad word he heard (possibly from me), and my kids watching PG13 movies! Ok, some movies are totally inappropriate for their age, but I’d rather them watch them at home with us than any where else! I’m still learning as I go along on this parenting journey but sometimes sweating the small stuff is such a waste of time!
- that it was going to be so hard– Mom life is hard, period and I was in for a rude awakening. I thought it would be so perfect and everything would come naturally, my kids were going to listen and be perfect and I would be perfect and we would have the perfect life blah blah blah. HA, ya right. Babies are hard, toddlers are hard, teenagers are really freakin hard, school projects suck and if I have to learn fractions one more time I gonna scream! I don’t remember all 50 states off the top of my head and I have no idea who the President was in 1972! I’m also apparently the meanest mom, our rules suck and I’m the only mom in the school who does not pack their kids lunch. WHAT-EVER! I would say the only thing easy in parenthood is love because no matter what we will always love our children, but we won’t always like them or being a parent. Am I right or am I right?!
- that I have to take care of myself in order to be there for my kids– DUH right?! Well, it’s not that easy. It’s so easy to get caught up in our kids activities and lives that we often forget about ourselves. I had a few health issues when my kids were younger and I didn’t take them seriously. I started to get more sick and my wiser older sister told me ‘if you’re not healthy how are you going to be their for your kids?’. Knew she was right but I didn’t have time to be sick! And since I ignored it, it got worse. I got everything figured out but it’s not just about being healthy, we have to make sure we have time for ourselves whether it’s a pedicure, manicure or simply 10 minutes a day to do something we enjoy. I’m a much better mom when I have a little R&R and some time to myself.
- what exactly being a boy mom meant!– Ok, I had one sister and was raised by my mom so raising a boy was totally foreign to me! And those cheesy super hero shirts and jammies drive.me.crazy! My mom made the mistake of buying something with a character on it once for Austin and EllaBleu and never did that again, haha! Fast forward 10 years and Hudson is OBSESSED with Spider Man and Batman and I have had to let it go. I am still pretty picky about which shirts I buy with super hero stuff though 😉 I also quickly learned that boys like dirt, guns, toy guns, fake guns, sticks that look like guns, they make guns and swords out of everything and gun noises are their favorite noises. Pretty much anything that shoots or pretends to shoot is the best thing in the world to them. Along with anything that look dangerous. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! EllaBleu was so easy, she listened (although sassy since age 1), she would sit still and I could bribe her with lip gloss any day, YES! Boys, not so much! They’re loud, energetic, dangerous, rambunctious, scary, and have NO fear what so ever. I’m exhausted writing this.
I also did not expect the value of time. I always remember people telling me how fast kids grow and before we know it they’ll be off to college, but when you’re in the middle of late night feedings and non-stop poopy diapers, the last thing you think about is how fast this will go… But it’s so true! I can’t even believe Austin is almost 15! If only I could turn back time. Even though I didn’t expect some of the challenges that come along with becoming a mom, I would not trade any of it for the world! With out challenges how do we learn and grow?
What things did you not expect becoming a parent? Comment below or find me on IG at @audreyuhlerblog and tell me all about it!