Happy Sunday! This weekend has been a whirlwind and I just keep wondering when I will actually get to sleep in later than 6 AM… which will not be until next weekend and I’m just not ok with it! EllaBleu had a volley ball tournament this weekend so that’s where our mornings were spent. Eventhough waking up early was such a struggle, it was so worth it, volleyball is such a fun sport to watch and Ella B. did amazing! Today I was just thinking about all of the fun stuff I’ve experienced through these last 14.5 years of being a mom and I though it would be fun to share a few of those today. These are 7 things I’ve learned from motherhood:
- No Mother is Perfect– Especially not this one! I knew early on I was not going to be a ‘pinterest mom’ or the mom who would make every single field trip and every single holiday party at school, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t try! I over compensated in a lot of areas when I was a single mom and I parented a lot out of guilt. There were so many things I missed out on because I had to work, but when I was there, I wanted to be the best mom in the world. FAIL! I finally realized I will never live up to any ‘perfect’ expectation I put on myself because perfection is such a false perception of reality. Now I give myself some grace knowing I will never be perfect. I’m not that mom who’s on time every day, as a matter of fact, I’m late everyday (and sometimes I forget they have early release), and I let my kids down from time to time, but one thing I make sure they do know is that I’m always here for them, I ‘ll always listen, and I LOVE them no matter what.
- LET IT GO!– Man oh man can things get out of control in our house! Whether it’s messy rooms, dirty dishes and laundry piled to the roof, or emotions flying in every direction, our home can be a war zone! Can somebody say “HORMONES”?! Teenagers are tough work guys, for real. Hormones are so different for boys and girls too! Boys aren’t as dramatic and girls don’t stink (well too much perfume may count), but the hormones sitch is no freaking joke. One minute they’re happy, the next minute they hate you and think you’re the strictest, most ridiculous (and dumbest) person in the world! I’ve learned to let things roll off my shoulders and let the petty stuff go, even when it’s REALLY hard! As a parent (and spouse) we really need to pick our battles wisely…. and I’m totally rolling my eyes right now!
- It’s Not About Me– When my kids get home from their dad’s house and try to transition back to our home and rules, it’s really hard on them. I try to not take whatever they say that first 24 hours personally because (even though it can be tough) it’s a reflection of their transition, not my parenting. When they’ve had a bad day at school and take it out on me, I try to remember what it’s like to be a teenager and how hard it can be sometimes. Sometimes their attitudes are not about me, but merely a projection of what they’re feeling, so I really try to tell myself it’s not about me, it’s about them. BTW, the same goes for a temper tantrum 3 yr old too!
- The First Child Is a Practice Run– Haha! I say this half kidding, but really, don’t you agree?! I don’t care how old or mature you are when you become a parent, there’s no guide in the world that can prepare you for this journey. The things I worried about with my first baby suddenly didn’t get as much attention with the second, and for the third, those worries went out the window! My kids always say how they never got away with anything and how Hudson gets whatever he wants, blah blah blah….. and… it’s probably true in their eyes! 😉 I just don’t sweat the small stuff as much anymore.
- It’s Still Important to Be Who YOU Are– I was 18 when I had Austin and I (clearly) really didn’t have a clue what I was doing, but I had this perception in my head of what I thought I had to be. What I should dress like and what I didn’t have time for anymore. I eventually got lost in motherhood and I kind of forgot what I enjoyed who I really was. I started going to exercise classes again and realized that I didn’t need to dress like a school marm (thanks to my BFF Jennie for reminding me) just because I was a mom. Guys, I seriously stopped wearing thongs when I first became a mom and I don’t know why… Thank God I’m passed that now, HAHA!
- Comparison Is a Trap– TRUTH. There will always be another mom out there who does it better. Whether it’s organization, decorating, chauffeuring, shopping, coupon clipping, cooking, picture taking, or dressing, there’s always going to be someone who does it better. And guess what, WHO CARES?! I’ve learned that comparing myself to others (in ANY way) completely robs me of joy and traps me in a funk. It’s taken me along time to realize this and to even realize that I was comparing myself to others, but now I see it quicker and I try to squash it as soon as it comes on. I feel so much better when I stop looking at what everyone else has and focus on being happy with what I have (or don’t have). Don’t get me wrong, I still get caught up in this trap from time to time, I just try to recognize it quicker!
- Praying for My Kids is Powerful– This is one of my favorites lessons learned. Kids go through A LOT growing up, even in a consistent, loving and ‘normal’ (is there such thing?!) home, our kids are still going through so many twists and turns. They’re being pulled in so many directions at school with friends, at home with us, and heaven forbid, with social media. I feel sad that my kids are growing up in this era sometimes because theres so much more pressure on them to be a certain way, look a certain way, believe a certain way and act a certain way, and it’s physically and emotionally draining them. The most powerful tool we have aside from talking to our kids, is praying for them. When our kids are in difficult situations and we’re not there, I pray that the Holy Spirit leads them and protects them. I pray this over my kids daily and not only for protection, but for wisdom to make the right choice. Listen, our kids sometimes feel like the world is against them and they need to know they’re not alone, we’re they’re rooting for them, cheering them on, and praying for them every single day. They need the security in knowing that the Holy Spirit is with them where ever they are and we’re continuously praying for God to watch over them.
I’m constantly learning new lessons about parenting as time goes on and I look back and just thank God that I got through these last 14 years alive! Our journeys are all different and I’d love to hear about yours! What lessons have your learned through parenthood? Comment below or shoot me an email, I’d love to connect!